Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about dominance and submission (D/s), particularly in terms of how it impacts my relationship with my husband, PC. To be specific, D/s seems to extend beyond the roles we adopt in our private, BDSM play scenes.
In an earlier post I mentioned how this dynamic has been integral to our relationship since the start, even though PC balks at the term “Dominant,” and, until recently, I never acknowledged my role as the “submissive” in our interaction. Nonetheless, the more I read about BDSM, the more I’ve come to realize that we are in some ways negotiating a mental, 24/7 Dom/sub relationship.
At this point, the only critical distinction that I can see between how we negotiate the transfer of power in our union and that of a “conventional” D/s relationship boils down to how we negotiate boundaries. PC and I are reluctant to formalize our D/s dynamic. As a result, beyond the use of a safe word, we do not follow protocol.
Room Service
Let me give you an idea of what I mean. Shortly after I moved in to PC’s apartment (keep in mind that at this point we had only been together three months), I started to perform a series of actions every morning. These quickly coalesced into a ritual so vital to us that without it our day never “starts” properly.
Every morning I get out of bed first. Before leaving our bedroom, I help PC wake up by touching him gently, giving him a scalp massage, and sucking his cock.... When he’s hard, sometimes he’ll pull me back into bed to fuck me (if we have time). Otherwise, I make my way to the kitchen and start preparing breakfast. Once I’ve cut the fruit (usually pineapple), set up our yogurt bowls, crumpled walnuts over his just the way he likes it, and the coffee is ready, I call him to the table. Occasionally, if he lingers in bed, I give him another blowjob....
I do this every morning, even when I’ve gone to sleep late and don’t need to get up at 6:00 a.m. with him. I can’t help it.
Edge Play
One time, when I served his coffee, I spilled some on the place mat. Sensing an opportunity, PC got up suddenly, gripped me forcefully by the hair, and forced my head down to lick up the spill.... Another time, when I was washing dishes in the nude, he came up behind me, grabbed one of our knives from the rack, and asked me to spread my legs.... “Don’t move,” he warned me. “This one’s sharp.” I held my breath while he traced the outline of my labia with the knife’s tip....
In both cases, I became wet instantly – my mind open in anticipation. Now do you understand what I get out of serving PC? What I love most, beyond the intimacy we share every morning in bed and at the breakfast table, is how my submission inspires his creativity....
In an earlier post I mentioned how this dynamic has been integral to our relationship since the start, even though PC balks at the term “Dominant,” and, until recently, I never acknowledged my role as the “submissive” in our interaction. Nonetheless, the more I read about BDSM, the more I’ve come to realize that we are in some ways negotiating a mental, 24/7 Dom/sub relationship.
At this point, the only critical distinction that I can see between how we negotiate the transfer of power in our union and that of a “conventional” D/s relationship boils down to how we negotiate boundaries. PC and I are reluctant to formalize our D/s dynamic. As a result, beyond the use of a safe word, we do not follow protocol.
Room Service
Let me give you an idea of what I mean. Shortly after I moved in to PC’s apartment (keep in mind that at this point we had only been together three months), I started to perform a series of actions every morning. These quickly coalesced into a ritual so vital to us that without it our day never “starts” properly.
Every morning I get out of bed first. Before leaving our bedroom, I help PC wake up by touching him gently, giving him a scalp massage, and sucking his cock.... When he’s hard, sometimes he’ll pull me back into bed to fuck me (if we have time). Otherwise, I make my way to the kitchen and start preparing breakfast. Once I’ve cut the fruit (usually pineapple), set up our yogurt bowls, crumpled walnuts over his just the way he likes it, and the coffee is ready, I call him to the table. Occasionally, if he lingers in bed, I give him another blowjob....
I do this every morning, even when I’ve gone to sleep late and don’t need to get up at 6:00 a.m. with him. I can’t help it.
Edge Play
One time, when I served his coffee, I spilled some on the place mat. Sensing an opportunity, PC got up suddenly, gripped me forcefully by the hair, and forced my head down to lick up the spill.... Another time, when I was washing dishes in the nude, he came up behind me, grabbed one of our knives from the rack, and asked me to spread my legs.... “Don’t move,” he warned me. “This one’s sharp.” I held my breath while he traced the outline of my labia with the knife’s tip....
In both cases, I became wet instantly – my mind open in anticipation. Now do you understand what I get out of serving PC? What I love most, beyond the intimacy we share every morning in bed and at the breakfast table, is how my submission inspires his creativity....
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