Me: "Tonight? Not feeling it, sorry babe."
Me (in my head): "I need some down time."
Him: "No, I mean NOW."
Me (in my head): "Say WHAT????"
We've NEVER done anything like this before — I mean, we only play with Uni together. It's always been PC + Uni + Me. What he proposed would radically reconfigure the psychosexual variables of our threesome equation. I considered the consequences:
What if he wants to fuck her on the regular?
What if he falls for her?
What if she falls for him, and starts to stalk us? (I'm a touch paranoid when I feel threatened.)
My pulse raced as a wave of jealousy coursed through my veins. It lasted about 10 seconds.
Then the warm, tingly feeling in my pussy made me smile. So this does turn me on. Holy shit! Am I a female cuckold? Am I living the "hot husband" (as opposed to the "hot wife") lifestyle? Whoah....
The next set of sensations that flooded my body was far more pleasurable. In my mind, something had been switched on. A low-voltage electrical current surged through me from my core to my fingertips. The sense of emotional expansion I felt reminded me of the scene in Hitchcock’s Spellbound, when Ingrid Bergman imagines an endless series of doors swinging open as Gregory Peck kisses her for the first time.
Keep in mind that none of this happened out of the blue. Two nights before, PC and I got hot & heavy in bed, dirty talking and sharing fantasies. While I really enjoy this kind of intimacy, I've always felt too guilty to share my most private sexual thoughts. I’ve always been afraid of being judged or of hurting the other person, which is why my instinctive reaction is to hold back and censure my own feelings.
Noting my resistance, PC the pussy whisperer decided to push my boundaries.
Ignoring my verbal responses to the scenarios he described, he gauged my reaction by reading my body: The wetter my pussy, the more I was turned me on.... On that particular night, my body favored the “hot husband” story: PC inviting our girlfriend over; fucking her in our bed every which way; filming it all (with her consent); and waiting for me to come home, sheets dirty, face covered in her pussy juice.
Raising the Stakes
To use a more current analogy, PC and I had just jumped to the next level of the nomo* video game. As expected, it presented us with a whole new set of challenges:
Does this mean that I can bring a guy over when PC’s not there?
Are we going to split up at the sex club and seek out our own adventures?
Will we have separate sexual relationships outside of our marriage?
Fortunately we didn’t have to find answers to these questions — at least not yet. It turns out that PC never called our girlfriend. He was just too horny to work over lunch and wanted to flirt and sext me for a little while, so he decided to spring something scandalous on me to get a reaction....
...I’ll never forget the existential, being-in-the-eternal-present, my-heart-is-wide-open-and-I’m-not-scared-shitless feeling of joy I experienced as a result of PC’s little prank. To cite another film reference, I couldn't help but think of the scene at the end of Kama Sutra when Maya, the courtesan, walks away from everything she's ever known — all the relationships and social conventions that tied her down and defined her.
That's not to say that I'm going to leave PC to pursue new sexual adventures on my own, much to the contrary. If anything, this situation acted as a catalyst in our relationship, and we've opened up to each other in unprecedented ways. One thing's for sure: We're both psyched to explore this new (poly?) horizon we see up ahead. And I’ve just started reading The Ethical Slut, so you never know what kind of twists and turns our sex thing will take in the future.
*We refer to our girlfriend as "Uni" because it's short for unicorn — a single woman who plays with couples. Our new Uni is is not to be confused with this (douchy) Uni.
**Nomo is an abbreviation of non-monogamous.